“Calm is contagious.”
This wisdom comes from the United States Navy SEALs.
It is also good advice for anyone involved with young people, including coaches, teachers and parents, especially when it comes to youth sport.
If it’s good enough for the Navy SEALs, it’s good enough for youth coaches and parents too.
Fear is also contagious
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Keep that in mind the next time you feel the urge to yell or throw a tantrum at a youth sporting event.
Competitive sport is stressful enough for any athlete, especially young participants. Coach and parent tantrums – especially after a child makes a mistake – fuel distracting stress and anxiety in young athletes. It’s like pouring gasoline on a fire.
Composure is a key factor in successful performance. Coaches and parents who throw tantrums disrupt young athletes’ concentration, set bad role models, and embarrass both themselves and their children.
“The ultimate purpose of a leader is to help the group improve,” behavioral psychologist Joe Dagen, Ph.D., told me. “It doesn’t matter if it’s a dangerous industry or it’s athletics, [leaders] are there to achieve a result and to help the team achieve it.”
Dagen researches and trains leaders who operate in hazardous environments where life and death are at stake, including the military and aerospace industries. He has designed and led leadership development programs for tens of thousands of these leaders.
According to Dagen, people in stressful environments want leaders who exude serenity, humility and confidence, especially during turbulent times (including sports). Effective leadership exudes calm, humility, and self-confidence—traits that those around them embrace in stressful situations.
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“When a leader is on a dangerous mission, if a leader creates an environment that encourages punishment — lots of shouting, lots of that kind of environment — the quality of the work goes down,” said Dagen. While youth athletics isn’t typically thought of as a “dangerous operation,” angry, screaming adults turn it into one by creating a toxic, high-pressure “penalty environment.”
It’s biology
“Calm is contagious” is a biological phenomenon called “co-regulation”. Without getting into the scientific specifics, suffice it to say that we reflect emotionally. Calm, composed people keep other people calm and composed. Conversely, angry, screaming adults make for anxious, stressed children.
How does an airline pilot use the intercom during a turbulent flight? Slowly and calmly. The aviation industry – both commercial and military – calls it the “Yeager Voice” in honor of Chuck Yeager, a World War II fighter pilot and famous test pilot who was the first to officially break the sound barrier. As a pilot and military officer, he was known for his calm composure under stressful circumstances.
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“Fear is contagious” is also co-regulation. Exposure to angry screaming and behavior leads to activation of the nervous system and release of cortisol and adrenaline, a chemical cocktail that creates fear. Gasoline against the already smoldering stress of a young athlete.
Take it from an NFL coach
Source: Photo courtesy of Sherman Smith.
“I don’t yell or yell at the players,” said retired NFL veteran Sherman Smith. “What is the goal? Are you trying to improve them, or are you just letting them know how angry you are?” According to Smith, he never yelled at any of the Seattle Seahawk, Houston Oiler, Tennessee Titan, or Washington Redskin players he coached.
Wise wisdom from Smith, a retired NFL coach with 23 years of coaching experience that includes three Super Bowl appearances. He also enjoyed a productive eight-year NFL career as a wide receiver.
Here’s an accomplished NFL coach who hasn’t yelled at pro football players. But if you go to a youth sports event, you’re bound to witness coaches and parents yelling and yelling at young children.
Please pay attention, youth sports coaches and parents. Relax and keep your young athletes calm, composed and focused.
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