If you’ve ever (or never) wondered what Sola Sobowale is doing when she’s not Eniola Salami, or what Ramsey Nouah is up to when he’s not Lover Boy, then we’ve written this article for you.
Sola Sobowale would own a buka
I can well imagine Sola Sobowale running a buka that is successful because everyone is talking about it and not necessarily because the food is great. You and your young wives and that one male manager collecting money will be rude to customers. You just have to be. It’s part of the deal. And their food portions? Even Buhari knows the economy isn’t THAT bad.
Zack Orji’s aftermarket business would flourish
See, I’m not even tribal – everyone I’ve ever bought parts from reminds me of Zack Orji. And it’s not about being Igbo, no. It’s just the confidence, the ability to look me in the eye and convince myself that this new O2 sensor will serve me for the next seven years. If Zack Orji points my face and tells me to get all my money out to buy something he’s selling, I do it. No questions.
Osita Iheme would rival Nigerian rappers
Did you hear this man’s flow? Are you kidding? He’s not even just a rapper, he can dance too! If Blaqbonez wakes up today, he should thank God that Osita Iheme chose to be Pawpaw and not O Da Wickedest.
RMD would make your sugar daddy look like a joke
If you think being a sugar daddy isn’t a job in itself, you’re wrong. These things require skill and dedication, and there is no better man for the job than this legend. Indeed, if you imagine that he is your baby’s sugar daddy and you feel terrible about it, then you have a problem.
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Patience Ozokwor would be your disappointing tailor
Somewhere in an alternate universe, a bride is crying because it’s her wedding day and Patience’s Plush Luxury used her wedding dress fabric to sew something different for someone else. Another person calls her out on Instagram for “doing what I ordered versus what I got.” But Patience doesn’t send anyone their daddy. Her motto is: “You can insult my work, but don’t insult me. In fact, you can’t even insult me.”
Funke Akindele would find a job at NURTW
We don’t know the job role or title, but Funke would thrive in NURTW. Whether as chairperson raising money she wasn’t working for or as a foot soldier stopping buses to collect taxes, she would kill it.
Genevieve did makeup tutorials on YouTube
Close your eyes. Now imagine Genevieve saying in front of your screen, “Hey guys! Welcome back to my YouTube channelllllll!” The way it fits perfectly, I can almost swear I’ve seen her like this before.
Ramsey Nouah’s upscale nkwobi joint would clap
You know those dive bars where rich people connect and discuss how to steal more money? Ramsey Nouah would own one of them. Being rich himself, he will create the place as a haven for people like him to meet. At the end of the evening, he’ll say food and drinks are on the house, not out of generosity, but because he’s just secured another multimillion-dollar project from one of the clients.
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