Our readers have consistently told us that video games have changed their lives for the better once or twice. Did you know that celebrities love gaming as much as we do? That’s right: passionate, obsessive, and often at the expense of their hygiene and mental health. Here, your favorite stars share the games that turned them into modern-day demigods that we choose to glorify or destroy at any time!
Jenna Ortega
“Paper Mario: Sticker Star taught me that putting stickers on the headlights of my dad’s police car isn’t just fun. They were my closest friends, some had such beautiful voices that only I could understand them. That’s why I always carry a hammer in my overalls.”
Chris Pratt
“When I was bad at shot put, the coach would lock me in the school basement and the only thing I could do was play this Bible Adventures game on the NES. I played it over and over until the words of our Savior Jesus Christ were burned deep into my retinas. This is where my famous raptor training pose comes from. I try to baptize them, but they are just too fast.”
Megan Fox
“I mean, I would say Mortal Kombat 1 because it helped me afford the bodyguards that are currently keeping Michael Bay from snooping around in my dirty laundry basket.”
Ariana Grande
“I like GTA V because I can pretend to drive around Nickelodeon Studios in LA and make the producers really suck shit. Screaming: “Die, die, die!” While shooting a pedophile is the most important vocal warm-up for me.”
Lil Nas
“Hades was the inspiration for ‘Montero’. There were so many fuckable characters in Hell that the music video basically wrote itself.”
Nicholas Cage
“Have you ever played MadWorld on the Wii? You have this chainsaw arm that you use to cut people into pieces. VWEEE! VWEEEEEE! Do you know what I mean, Junior?! Otherwise I would say Hello Kitty Island Adventure, which is a real treat for the senses.”
Keanu Reeves
“I love classic horror, but hate performances that take you out of the film. That’s why I love Bram Stoker’s Dracula for the Super Nintendo Entertainment System. It’s a great way to experience the film without having to hear my sloppy British accent.”
Sean Penn
“My favorite game is Superman 64. And I know what you’re going to say: ‘That’s a really unusual, unexpected choice.’ And rightly so. I work really hard to cultivate that image and make sure people forget about the Madonna stuff. In some ways I’m a bit like Superman. I fight tirelessly for a better world that will never come because everything is a broken piece of shit.”
Timothee Chalamet
“I’ve said this before, but I was obsessed with Final Fantasy 7 until Cait Sith broke my heart. I loved this beautiful bastard. I even took him on the Gold Saucer Ferris Wheel and he cheated on me, just like Princess Bubblegum cheated on Finn. I held this grudge every day of my life until I took my revenge and released a version of Willy Wonka so repulsive that it would destroy the will of old people to live, just like Cait Sith did to me.”
Kylie Jenner
“The ladies in my family swallow a lot of hard-to-find umbilical cords as part of our youth blood drives, so Bloodborne was the game that made me feel truly seen.” But for about a month now, I’ve been into Lies of P in love! Timothee is great at it!”
Scarlett Johansson
“I absolutely loved Ghost of Tsushima. It helped me connect with the suffering and strength of my ancestors.”
Peter Pascal
“Everything from Microsoft! Sony ponies wish they had the games we have! I mean, damn. Delete that! Unofficially! Unofficially! Shit, shit, shit!”
Gordon Ramsey
“I actually became a TV personality through Cooking Mama. An agent saw me shouting profanities at this confusing two-dimensional cunt on my screen and told me that if I was so good at degrading fictional women, I could make a career out of decimating real women.”
Nick Cannon
“Pikmin helped me realize my truest dream: spreading my seeds worldwide. STAND UP, MY CHILDREN! SLASH AND SPREAD!”
Jonah Hill
“I’m a big fan of the original Bioshock. There’s just something very… compelling about the idea that you can control someone’s thoughts and actions with your words. I tried it and it’s a lot harder than it looks.”
Armie Hammer
“I love eating them and absorbing their powers. When you take the cutter, throw it and knock someone down from a few feet away, it’s very satisfying. But when it comes to games, I love Destiny.”
Brie Larson
“I’ve wanted to play Samus in a Super Metroid movie for ages. It’s my favorite game. I’ve spent hours with gymnasts, trainers, and yoga gurus trying to curl up into a perfect little ball like Samus, but none of the so-called experts have the courage to shatter my spine and roll me around a bowling alley like an armadillo. Fucking cunts.”
Millie Bobby Brown
“Have I heard Rock and Stone? That’s it, guys! Rock and stone! May your beards be thick and your golden satchels heavy! Where is that damn MULE?! Rock and stone in the heart!”
Leonardo Dicaprio
“This might sound wrong because I’m getting older, but I only play modern games. Tears of the Kingdom, Hogwarts Legacy. Basically anything younger than 25 years old.”
Jennifer Lawrence
“I have been accused of laxity in the past and I ask myself: WHAT. Girl, no.” (NOTE: Lawrence continued dancing and making goat noises for about 30 seconds.) “But there you go, dude. Chrono Trigger and similar- (Reading) Twilight Prin- Pringles? These games are so much fun.”
Comments are closed.