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Welcome to The Upgrade, By The Way’s series on travel hacks and hot takes. See how to submit here.
Flying economy can be a nightmare. There are few, if any, ways around this. When you’re up in the air as much as I am, you have to scrape and scrape for every ounce of satisfaction—not to mention humane treatment.
With my frequent flyer status on our site, even my travel companion can benefit. We can enter the lounge together and enjoy a few drinks in a cozy atmosphere; we can check our bags for free; and we can get on the plane early, securing us invaluable space. Sometimes we can even both be upgraded to First or Business Class. But if a seat is available and I’m next in line, I’m sorry but I’ll take the seat and leave you in economy class.
If I can, I’ll send you back a freebie drink or two — I’m no monster — but if the opportunity for a business-flat bed arises, I’ll have no hesitation in jumping on it and laying down for a night’s rest. See, I had to earn that airline status, and there’s no easy way to do that. I fly hundreds of thousands of miles each year to climb this ladder. It’s my blood, sweat and tears (okay, maybe that’s an exaggeration) that made me rock dual Delta Diamond and United 1K status, and I fully intend to take advantage of the upgrades I have have accumulated.
I’m not saying I won’t try to upgrade you as well, assuming we have the same reservation. I love the idea of us enjoying the comparative pleasure cruise together and ignoring each other while we sleep in peace. But it’s not an all-or-nothing scenario. If you’re under the cut list, well, the fickle gods of air travel have spoken.
After spending an incredible amount of time getting DOE, J. one step ahead of the upgrade list, do you want me to give up those hard-earned achievements so we can eat our free stroopwafels side-by-side? It goes against everything I’ve worked for and it’s not going to happen. I’ve spent far too many long, sleepless nights in an upright position in 37F to turn down a business bed in 3A and a welcome glass of champagne.
I understand your uneasiness, I really do. But that’s all the more reason why I should alleviate my own instead of suffering alongside you. It’s not an honor to be unhappy together because of it.
If the roles were reversed and your superior status looked down on my silver or gold, I would expect you to do the same. No, I wouldn’t be happy to be left behind either. When we landed the next morning, you’d probably draw a little scowl as I tried in vain to twist my neck while witnessing your blithe go-get-’em attitude. But I would understand. Never let DOE, J. win.
Jake Emen is a freelance travel, food and beverage writer. Follow him on Twitter: @ManTalkFood.
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