It's time to rethink the way we engage with celebrities.
Purple Baltaxe | Lead graphic designer
On December 3rd, an X user replied on a message about Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce: “Last night I was just sitting there thinking about how he left KC yesterday to go to Lambeau and she stayed at her house.” Alone. Not just because it's there, but because it's her place now too. She's probably decorating for Christmas. It made me so happy.”
Seemingly intrusive posts and messages like this are not uncommon, especially considering the popularity of the two. Content like this article is evidence of the increasing phenomenon of parasocial relationships.
Parasocial relationships are defined as imaginary social relationships and interactions with people who are far from us and do not reciprocate individual communication or interests.
Over-involvement in celebrities and their lives is nothing new – tabloids and paparazzi have been around for decades – but the phenomenon's presence has been amplified by easy and widespread access to the internet and social media platforms.
The world of pop culture and music thrives on “fangirls.” However, there are boundaries that must be crossed. Because of the internet and access to celebrity news, people seem to forget the boundaries, leading to some scary rhetoric, such as the content we see about Swift.
Talking about celebrity gossip is one thing – but feeling like you have a right to their private affairs or talking about them publicly when you're close friends is something entirely different. Speculation and claims about celebrities we don't know personally can easily reach damaging territory.
The phenomenon can apply not only to extreme fans of certain celebrities, but also to their haters – and parasocial relationships can make the line between the two very thin.
After English actor Kit Connor was spotted holding hands with his female co-star Maia Reficco in September 2022, netizens delved into his history of personal relationships.
The actor was accused of “queerbaiting” for portraying a bisexual character in the series “Heartstopper,” even though he was considered heterosexual based on his photos with Reficco.
The claims put the star under so much pressure that he was forced to take a break from Twitter. He came back later in the year and said, “Back for a minute. I'm bisexual. Congratulations on forcing an 18 year old to come out. I think some of you didn't understand the point of the show. Bye.”
Parasocial relationships and online celebrity culture aren't just a world of fun speculation. It is a real phenomenon with real consequences, often damaging and detrimental, such as what Connor went through last year.
For years, comedian John Mulaney had spoken both extensively and highly about his wife, leaving many of his fans feeling like they knew everything about their entire marriage.
When their divorce was announced, people started taking sides. Many fans took to social media to express their personal sadness over the news, even going so far as to talk about who would get custody of their dog. After the subsequent news of his relationship with Olivia Munn, he received a lot of hate and was accused of cheating.
The internet has given everyone the platform to not only comment on celebrity culture, but also to act like they owe us a personal look into their lives.
In some ways, the rise in harm from parasocial relationships and intrusive fans makes sense – social media makes interaction between celebrities and their fans common, and access to online gossip and news is always easy for consumers.
However, it should be a public figure's decision whether or not to disclose certain information about themselves. What is often missing from participants in parasocial relationships is the recognition that it is not okay for celebrities to be treated as if they were best friends with their fans just because they are famous and living their lives at full speed.
Famous people don't owe us any information about their lives, and their celebrity status doesn't automatically mean fans deserve access.
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