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Let Celebrities Be Freaks On the Record

Priyanka Chopra Jonas is incredibly famous and successful and happy in their marriage. The only thing that goes wrong is the fact that people are unwilling to believe all of these facts. This is essentially the thesis of a new profile for the actress in Vanity Fair, whose headline is “Priyanka Chopra: ‘I’m very excited about the future’. I’m scared of it, too. ‘”This quote is as revealing as the story can get.

The celebrity profile has been in deep decline for many years and this is no exception. The piece, written by Rebecca Ford, is every publicist’s wet dream. There are quotes from people like Jada Pinkett Smith who said of Chopra Jonas: “She is just a ball of light. She is funny and witty and just enjoys life. It’s magnetic. “Her manager Anjula Acharia told the magazine:” I see her like Julia Roberts. ” If ever someone had to see an optician, it is now.

You can almost see the Chopra Jonas Ford team sitting back and telling her which questions to ask and which to avoid. The idea that Chopra Jonas married her husband Nick Jonas in a career move to raise her status in America is called “absurd”. It becomes clear that Chopra Jonas was a Julia Roberts guy in India, and we are given a full list of roles to make the point clear (“Priyanka played an Olympic boxer, an autistic teenager, a femme fatale, the wife of one Generals and a model. “).

We get one more list, this time of all the incredible things she did last year: “She published her memoir Unfinished (now a New York Times bestseller); launched its Anomaly hair care line; raised millions of dollars to help India during pandemic; opened an Indian restaurant in New York; and starred in the Matrix sequel. “I think this is included so we can have a clear understanding that she’s not just a pretty face.

But what is it? I still don’t know. I know that she wants to be taken more seriously as an actress in the US and that she gets upset when people say she and her husband are not really in love, even though they see each other every three weeks. I know she’s bringing out a new Amazon series, Citadel, which promises to be “a global action franchise,” and a rom-com called Text For You. Ford describes Chopra Jonas as “warm and charming, with a ready smile and engaging eyes,” as if it wasn’t her job to be warm and charming to the mediator responsible for making her look good.

A couple of things seem to play a role here. Number one is that I think Chopra Jonas could be a really boring person who does a good job playing the role of the celebrity interview. She had memorized her lines and did not leave the book. She hit any point she wanted, then quickly led Ford out of her house. Number two is that at a time when magazines need celebrities more than celebrities need magazines, writing a profile that could be construed as “interesting” in any way is not a smart career move.

Publicists, why not let your customers become freaks? Let them be dead-eyed or arrogant or sarcastic or stupid. Whatever they are, if no one records that will get them the most press. Who cares if it’s “bad press”? What we learned last year is that if a celebrity comes across as an asshole in a profile, Jessica Chastain will rally her cheerful gang of famous people to support them, and exactly one month later they will receive an unsolicited defense on the New’s side York Times and win a Golden Globe. It’s going to be all right and I won’t waste 15 minutes of my time reading about how Priyanka Chopra Jonas is really trying to make her mental health a priority in 2022. It’s a win-win situation.

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