They’ve been waiting for her all year (at least my wife). So to Christmas 2022. Decorate halls and clear your throat…
“Let it Rain”
[“Let it Snow”]
(as sung by Steve Cohen)
Oh, the season was just lovely
Until October made it fatal
And there I am worth more than Spain
Let it Rain! Let it Rain! Let it Rain!
Well, deGrom went from cowboy rustlin’
So I called Justin
“Get on my cheddar train!”
Let it Rain! Let it Rain! Let it Rain!
When the Wilpons were still in charge
Coins were pinched, like the grinch, parallax
Now Uncle Stevie is living big
I have my own luxury tax!
This is Nimmo, Senga, Farm
And who knows who I’m courting mañana
Ohtani? I buy him Maine
Let it Rain! let it rain let it rain!
“Hoping for the Best in Yankeeland”*
[“Walking in a Winter Wonderland”]
Yankees fold, Hal convulses
Back in Queens, Cohen is binging
A 13-year emergency
It’s just not right
Hoping for the best in Yankeeland
IKF, you have to wriggle
A grounder slides through your legs
Hiccup smells a flyball
Then jog against the wall
Prepare for the worst in Yankeeland
Aaron Richter`
The cashman sits at the winter meetings
He pretends to play moneyball
He’ll say, “Need a prospect?”
They’ll say, “No, man.
“But here’s a bloated contract, pay for everything!”
Later, the fans sweat
Boonie’s moves all backfire
Still stand there fearless
The Astros remade
Hoping for the best in Yankeeland
In the outfield we have Judge and Stanton
We pretend they play all the games
The trainer’s whirlpool will stand up and crank
With accidental torn obliques and DJ sprains
With Rodon we will strive
Up to the flag, maybe higher
To face without faze
The rays and the jays
Hoping for the best in Yankeeland
Number 28 in Yankeeland…
“It’s a most unusual time of year”
[“It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year.”]
It’s a most unusual time of year
Whether jet or giant
You are stubborn, defiant
And play without fear!
It’s a most unusual time of year
It’s the most footballing season of them all
Dexter, Sauce, Thibodeaux
Saleh, Wilson, Moreau
And old Brian Daboll!
It’s the most footballing season of them all!
Jets quarterback Zach Wilson (2) and guard Nate Herbig.Bill Kostroun/New York Post
There will be lions to kill
Commanders to skin
Otherwise, the playoff chances will be bleak
There will be a lot of Danny diming
And Zach Wilson sublimated
Stay on the hunt for another week
It’s the most unusual season in years
A team keeps receipts
And the other drumbeats
They will draw Tom’s Buccaneers!
It’s the most unusual time of year…in…years!
“WM (What is a yellow card?)”*
[“Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home)”]
(Sung by occasional American football fans)
WM (Does that mean offside?)
World Cup (I still don’t understand how)
World Cup (What is stoppage time?)
World Cup (should be done by now!)
WM (a striker goes down)
World Cup (He wriggles on the sod)
World Cup (The fans are all going crazy)
World Championship (Subdue That Flop Cheat!)
Stand in line to build a wall
Lionel Messi in Argentina’s win over Croatia.Getty Images
Messi really hit that ball
Can nobody beat France this year?
Give us Yanks some Christmas cheer!
World Cup (People in the stands)
World Cup (cry so much)
WM (Here is a referee)
WM (What is a yellow card?)
They yell: “That’s a handball!”
But I think they just want to stall
Oh no, another PK!
Zero zero games every day!
World Championship …
“I liked 20-2-2 here”
[“These are a Few of any Favorite Things”]
Aaron Judge breaks Roger’s record
Gil in the Hall, always Met, always Dodger
Also Johnnies and Bonnies and Rams and Gaels
Here’s what I liked about 20-2-2
Saquon and Zam find holes and run like thunder
Donovan Mitchell (OK, there’s a mistake)
Saquon Barkley`
Developers, islands, rangers with trophies in their sight
Here’s what I liked about 20-2-2
When the Knicks lose
When the nets are dozing
If they don’t play D
I dream of reruns
From Baseball Octobers
And then I don’t feel… grumpy…
KD rains 3 seconds and J. Brunson is a keeper
St. Peter’s Run as the ultimate sleeper
October Bader hit .333
Time to prepare for 20-2-3….
— With Rob Ricco
Vac’s Whacks
Louie Orr was a gentleman and a pleasure to cover while he was at Seton Hall. Also, as a young St. John’s fan long ago, the show “Louie & Bouie” filled me with dread when Syracuse faced the Johnnies. Godspeed to a good man.
Tuesday marks the 40th birthday of a certain David Allen Wright, and like most athletes who have played here their entire careers – Derek Jeter, Eli Manning, Henrik Lundqvist and others – it’s a difficult number to fathom because it precedes the spiritual eye forever 25 years old .
David WrightRobert Sabo
The big news on Friday in the Land of the Jets was Mike White and Zach Wilson. But Robert Saleh also wore a T-shirt to commemorate Sunday’s fundraiser honoring Greg Knapp, the Jets’ passing coordinator, who was killed by a “distracted driver” in 2021. Jets coaches and staff will complete the steps at MetLife to benefit the Coach Knapp Memorial Fund. Fans can also participate at a location of their choice for $100 per climber. For more information, visit just memorial.org/stairclimb. Saleh’s T-shirt read “986,000” – the number of deaths caused by distracted drivers each year.
The final season of The Crown is fine, but I still expect Bunk to show up at Buckingham Palace and bring Prince Charles down for a chat with some of the corner crew. (Fans of “The Wire” will understand.)
Hit back on Vac
Martin Galvin: How unprepared did Joe Flacco look in Buffalo last week? He looked as exhausted as Ralph Malph when he was called in and stripped off his warm-up clothes and wasn’t even in his uniform.
Vacuum: One of the quickest ways to get into this feature is to delete a deliciously random “Happy Days” reference.
Joe Flacco on the bench during the Jets games against Bill last Sunday.Charles Wenzelberg/New York Post
Joey Sowinski: The Mets got a lot more expensive. And much older. But have they gotten a little bit better? No! (I won’t hold my breath waiting for that little writing to show up in your Whack Back at Vac section.)
Vacuum: Breathe, Joey! To breathe!
@Joplin: Any chance Jalen Brunson would play ball instead of Julius Randle to end a game? pretty please
@ Mike Vacc: If I had powers like that, don’t you think I would have tapped into them by now?
Bruce Welch: When I was a kid, my parents said to me, “Play shortstop, play shortstop!” I should have listened to them.
Vacuum: Isn’t that the truth?
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