In the wake of personal loss, individuals are turning to digital platforms for comfort and support, creating a strange new economy of loss.
“When I lost him, I was unhappy. It is almost an understatement to say that because the feeling was so intense and filled with immense helplessness,” said Tanushka Dutta, a journalist with a leading media organization in New Delhi, who lost her grandfather just eight months ago. Because she didn’t want to burden her family with her feelings, she suppressed her grief. Not many could understand what she was going through. Even her friends, who she expected to have a relationship with her, couldn’t grasp the intensity of her feelings.
She thought about grief counseling, but it cost too much. That’s when Tanushka discovered groups on Facebook such as parental loss support groups and grief support groups. The personal stories of others in these rooms somehow validated their grief.
“It was a strange comfort to know that this is a miserable feeling that I am not alone in facing, and that there are unknown strangers on this planet who are going through this too,” she told Frontline. After some time, she plucked up the courage to write about her feelings, and many strangers offered her support in the comments section with simple phrases like “It will get better.” One of the sites that helped her immensely was Untangle Grief on Instagram, she recalled.
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Tanushka is one of thousands of people in India and abroad who participate in what sociologists call the grief economy, which includes services and products for those grieving. The grief economy, particularly its digital side, has received a boost during and after the COVID-19 pandemic, leading many people to seek help coping with their losses. Additionally, concerted efforts have been made to understand the socioeconomic impact of grief around the world.
Growing market
For example, an estimate by the US research group Grief Recovery Institute shows that grief costs the economy $75 billion in lost productivity each year. In addition to offline services that include clinics and other support groups, hundreds of pages on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Reddit, and many other platforms now offer grief recovery options in the form of flashcards with powerful quotes and short videos with advice and experiences , memes and more. In India, although the market is still in its nascent stage, it has been finding takers of late thanks to increased mental health awareness and the emergence of social media platforms.
With thousands of readers, listeners, subscribers and followers, the market for grief-related products and services is continually growing. The grief economy aims to build and monetize a support system that transcends time and geography. It offers accessibility, privacy and affordable subscriptions and serves either as a precursor to therapy or, in some cases, as a satisfactory alternative to counseling.
In just 21 days in October 2023, Amazon published over 36 books (both paperback and Kindle versions) in the Grief and Grief and Self-Help sections. Spotify, the popular music player platform, hosts more than 100 grief-themed podcasts, including The Good Mourning Podcast, GriefCast, Shapes of Grief, The Good Grief Podcast, What Now and The Grief Awakening. The Google Play Store offers more than 20 apps to support people on their grief journey. In addition, over 50 pages have emerged on Instagram dedicated to discussing and expressing grief, including Option B, Grief to Light, and Grief Case.
Sally Douglas and Imogen Carn, authors of Good Mourning: Honest Conversations about Grief and Loss, have created an online community through their podcast and other content to help people understand grief and the sense of isolation among those grieving to alleviate.
The creators of these shows, handles, and pages, many of whom are grieving themselves, offer self-care guides, step-by-step guides, podcasts on dealing with grief, and shared experiences to reach people. For example, the chart-topping podcast Good Mourning, led by Sally Douglas and Imogen Carn, begins with a poignant line: “Unfortunately, we have joined the club that no one wants to join.” Sally Douglas and Imogen Carn, authors of the book Good Mourning: Honest Conversations about Grief and Loss, have created an online community through their podcast and other content to help people understand grief and ease feelings of isolation among those grieving. After both unexpectedly losing their mothers in their early 30s, Sally and Imogen struggled to find appropriate support to deal with their grief. Their products – a podcast, a bestseller and live events – aim to create a space for discussion about the reality of loss.
Get rid of misunderstandings
As therapy has cleared up the misconceptions surrounding it in recent years, products designed to help people cope with grief have gained acceptance and popularity. Emily Cummins, the founder and CEO of Untangle Grief (a grief and grief support website and mobile application), launched her products to reach more people and help them deal with their grief. Untangle Grief, one of the many grief counseling apps in the Google Play Store, has over 35,000 users from around 148 countries. Curated by psychologists, nutritionists, fitness experts and content developers, the app offers users a space to share their experiences or connect with others who have been through similar situations.
Cummins emphasized the importance of creating spaces for understanding and expressing grief, saying: “Sometimes it is difficult to talk about grief within your own family. Untangle Grief, which is very popular among users in India, offers them a non-judgmental space to talk about their feelings. It shows them that they are not alone.”
Conservative estimates suggest that the global market for grief-related products and services is currently more than $16 billion and is expected to reach about $30 billion by the end of this decade. However, like any product that deals with abstract concepts, it raises several concerns. Do these products actually help people cope with grief and are they sufficient? How far can these products help those who are grieving and why are they becoming more popular than professional advice? “Many such apps and sites appear to support techniques that psychologists recommend for people to deal with grief. These include activities like doodling, speaking and self-expression,” said Priya Dhandapani, a counseling psychologist and PhD student in Chennai.
However, experts emphasize the need for appropriate therapy. Rakhi Sengupta, a practicing psychotherapist who specializes in trauma and grief, said that grief is never a single emotion; it encompasses a range of emotions. “As grief therapists, our work is about addressing all of the associated emotions such as sadness, anger and denial,” she explained. She also noted that the way a person deals with their grief varies from person to person and is influenced by personal factors such as childhood experiences, past traumas, and their growing environment.
Experts say counseling and therapy are ongoing processes. Grief therapists help grievers examine their trauma, understand their loss, and acknowledge it at their own pace and in their own time. In the first six months after the loss of a loved one, the so-called recognition period, people must become aware of their grief and come to terms with the loss.
Coping mechanism
According to Rakhi Sengupta, products like podcasts and apps serve as coping mechanisms that support those grieving during the first six months by reassuring them that they are not alone. “Grief manifests itself in the body and the mind. In a way, these products are commendable because they help people deal with grief. However, they are not sufficient to disentangle all emotions because they lack an individual understanding of what each person is experiencing.”
She added: “After the acknowledgment period, the grieving person has to process things. Beyond the first six months, podcasts or apps may not be of much help. At this point, the individual needs to process their grief with a grief counselor or therapist.”
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Creators need to consider numerous factors, the most important being “connection,” said Priya Dhandapani. “There is a gap between digitizing services and taking into account the psychological components associated with it. Therefore, YouTubers need to explore the connection factor more.” Experts warn that consumers of such services should be aware of their privacy rights and that companies and creators involved in such activities should respect and comply with privacy laws and ethics.
Soumali Bardhan, a Kolkata-based clinical psychologist, recommended that digital spaces should carefully consider the psychological aspect by providing contact information for psychologists or counselors who accompany grieving people on their journey. Many apps try to do exactly that. Emily Cummins from Untangle Grief said they want to integrate their “services with the NHS in the UK, but we are just getting established”.
At least in countries like India, such support was either costly or considered taboo, leaving scope for whatever help was available. There is a certain level of satisfaction with the offerings of these digital platforms. While their monetization remains an independent decision by the creators, some of these products at least help users cope with grief. While there is no one-size-fits-all solution to grief, there is always something that can be done about it. These products provide a starting point for people looking to manage their grief, similar to Tanushka.
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