It’s natural that we want to know more about the lives of the people we see and admire on the big screen. Our culture’s obsession with celebrities leads us to inquire into the deepest details of their personal lives. But what happens when our desire to intervene in the lives of celebrities takes it too far?
Case in point: Kit Connor from Heartstopper, just one example of many actors being forced to come out against their will.
Heartstopper first premiered on Netflix in April 2022 and received massive critical and audience acclaim for its positive and inspirational queer portrayal. The show topped the streaming charts for weeks and garnered a massive following. 18-year-old Kit Connor plays Nick Nelson, a character who deals with her sexuality and develops an attraction to Charlie Spring (Joe Locke) over the course of the season.
Connor said he felt unjustified pressure to come out from fans after the show was accused of queerbaiting. Queerbaiting is a term used to describe media outlets that attempt to target a queer audience by teasing the portrayal, but then fail to deliver on their promise.
On October 31st, Connor posted the tweet (which has since been deleted): “Back for a minute. I’m bisexual. Congratulations on forcing an 18 year old to come out. I think some of you missed the point of the show. Goodbye.” Prior to this tweet, Connor had not spoken publicly about his sexuality and was unwilling to label himself.
After that, many fans showered Connor with love online. Olivia Colman, who also stars in Heartstopper, even publicly showed her support for Connor when speaking to Variety.
“I’m so proud of him, but I’m not proud of how people bullied him,” Colman said. “I think people should be allowed to have their own journey.”
It’s important to be critical of the media we consume, especially when it comes to ensuring the best and most accurate LGBTQ+ representation possible. We often look up to the people we see in film and television, and it makes sense that there is a need for queer characters to be portrayed by queer actors themselves.
However, requiring actors to make their sexuality public is problematic. Frankly, especially for younger actors like Connor, expecting their identities to be discovered at such a young age is dangerous. It takes some people their entire lives to explore their sexuality, and no matter what different experiences people have, every journey that people who are part of the LGBTQ+ community take is equally valid and important. Some people may even reject labels entirely, despite falling under the umbrella of being queer.
Rebel Wilson is another actor who has recently come under pressure to come out. According to US magazine, Wilson was contacted by the Sydney Morning Herald and asked about her romance with a woman. What initially seemed like an inspiring coming-out moment for Wilson quickly turned out to be an ultimatum. The newspaper gave her two days to comment on her relationship with Ramona Agruma before publication.
Coming out and how someone (if they choose to speak publicly about their sexuality) chooses to do so should be their business for anyone who is part of the LGBTQ+ community. Forcing or pressuring someone to reveal personal information robs them of their ability to tell their story in their own voice. Situations like Connor and Wilson’s set a dangerous precedent for the future of LGBTQ+ media.
One of the most profound and formative experiences of my life was when I came out as gay in high school. I was able to make this decision for myself because it felt right at this point in my life and I had finally reached a place of self-acceptance after years of not feeling like I belonged to any community. I didn’t want anyone to take my story away from me – I wanted to own my story. Celebrities, despite their privilege and status in society, deserve to own their stories too — something online fans often seem to forget when caught in the internet storm.
Ultimately, no one owes the world around him an explanation of who he is. The beauty of being part of the LGBTQ+ community is that each individual’s story is so unique. This should be celebrated and embraced with flying colours, both in our personal lives and in the media we consume.
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